I’ve been writing stories for seventeen years. That’s how old Carl is—in dog years. It was only natural that my dog would become interested in telling tales. Since he doesn’t have a computer of his own, I suspect Carl has hidden his stories in my computer. The files are likely protected by triple-thick firewalls and a Compuplex Z2000, high carbon, case-hardened, steel laser and an extenuated doohickey—with double redundant passwords. Maybe you’ve guessed that Carl won’t show me his work.
I suppose Carl will object if I repeat one of his stories, but I can’t resist sharing with you the tale of, “The True Origin of Marshmallows.” Here it is in Carl’s own words:
“Though it’s not widely known, a dog, a Pembroke Welsh Corgi to be exact, invented marshmallows. It happened like this: An ancestor of mine, C-Dog the First, left his warm home to explore the northern territories. Far and beyond far, he ventured, seeking the source of the Northern Lights. In time his supplies dwindled and hunger threatened his adventure.
“When hope teetered on a knife’s edge, C-Dog the First, came upon an Eskimo family living in an igloo. Unfortunately they were also low on food. C-Dog, being an accomplished chef asked them, specifically, what they had left, food-wise.
“‘Only a little sugar,’ they said.
“C-Dog knew that even with the supplies he had left, there was no chance of making dog biscuits. But then inspiration hit like a fetching stick. Maybe, just maybe…. C-Dog emptied his knapsack. ‘Corn syrup, modified corn starch. There’s potential here.’
“Luckily C-Dog, when preparing for his journey, had the foresight to pack some tetrasodius pyrophosphate. Mixing the ingredients produced a sticky, white slurry that set up to form a pillowy substance with a wonderful sweet taste. The Corgi and the native northlanders were saved.
“Additionally, C-Dog discovered that this concoction, besides being a nutritious, health food, worked well as snow boots, keeping his paws warm on his return trip to warmer regions. And that,” conclude Carl, “is the true story of how marshmallows were invented.”
Wow! What an imagination! Where does he get such ideas?